Chapter III

Chapter III: The Wonders of Hyde Park (or whatever)
So, Eds falls ill, so I can hurry up my mate Time a bit. We learn that his uncle's super depressed because his bae bro Lawrence left for Europe. Edward wants to go out with his mate, yet being a dumb toast that he really is forgets to bring an umbrella, though he lives in London now and has to know how shitty the weather is, especially in winter. While Ed was ill, Dodie Canning nearly died, his father became even balder thanks to that, but all Dodie cares about is playing Sherlock Holmes with Edward, so they decide to feed some duck in Hyde Park.

Of course, Dodie nearly dies on the way, so they sit down and meet the Duke of Wellington also knows as Arthur it takes a lot of time to type "the Duke of Wellington" I'm sorry. He offers them to feed some pigeons instead and they agree, meeting the Arbuthnots (who are here only because I want them to) and Emily Stewart who is a tiny fairy who sent her husband into the wild to find her hat. He appears, creeping the living shit out of Edward and telling him he fell™ which is the most important reveal of the chapter. Eddie convinces him to help him and be Mycroft to his Sherlock. Castlereagh for some fucked up reason agrees and ruins his watch in the process. It's a win for Edward, but he's too dumb to realise who the hell he chose as a partner in crime.

At home a magical gay flashback awaits. Uncle Tom tries to convince Edward that everyone is heterosexual, including Edward, obviously, but Ed proves him wrong by dreaming about getting all hot and bothered thanks to Pitt in his sleep (not in Pitt's sleep, though) and then cums happily yet somewhat confusedly. He asks the Creator what the fuck is going on, yet the Creator (me) just ends the chapter to avoid answering stupid questions.